The date night is an elusive creature for parents. Imagine searching on the moon for a dolphin-unicorn hybrid. That’s what it’s like, looking for a dolphicornalien. Until you’ve gone through the process of planning a date night as a new parent you really can’t imagine just how complicated it can be.
Read MoreThink back on your childhood…. Was there anything, ever, more absolutely-bone chillingly terrifying than when your father finally had enough of your back seat antics and flipped the rearview mirror at you?
Read MoreI unknowingly had to deal with a customer at work who had Tuberculosis, so my boss sent me to the local clinic to get checked out. Unfortunately, the TB testing clinic was also the community STD clinic.
Read MoreWhen you’re the parent of little kids, the day that they’re potty trained can seem like the best day of your life. No more buying diapers, no more changing diapers, no more smelly diapers…..but as any parent of a big kid knows, all those good things come at a cost.
Read MoreThere are a few ideas that I’ve tried to ingrain in the boys from a very young age, one of which is that they should always stick together and take care of each other. To that end, I created The Rescue Game.
Read MoreDon’t laugh. This is an important subject that receives far, far too little attention in today’s society. Prepare to be educated.
Read MoreOne Sunday evening when PlaysWithFire was about six we were headed to church services, and he nearly killed his mother.
Read MoreThe boys were at the age when you think they’re old enough to understand every sarcastic or idiomatic thing you say, when they definitely don’t.
Read MoreIt’s finally possible because scientists have unlocked the secret of why the beach…smells like the beach.
Read MoreHomophones are my favorite. And this is the simplest visual explanation for them that I’ve ever seen.
Read MoreCan you even imagine the complexity involved in stealing a placenta from a hospital? Well done, Texas Mom….well done. This story gives me hope that one day I’ll be able to live out my dreams of being a secret agent as well.
Read MoreFirst, it was a dude who thought he was a chick. Then it was a white girl that pretended to be black. So none of us should be surprised about a cat getting an award for being a heroic dog.
Read MoreYou know that awkward stage when your kids are potty trained, but don’t exactly have the dexterity needed to…umm…you know…keep everything as tidy as it should be, “down there”?
Read MoreIf you’re a good parent, at some point you’re gonna have to tell your kids to stop acting like an idiot.
Read MoreOnce upon a time, there was a young man. We’ll call him Eric. And Eric LOVED to catch alligators.
Read MoreI silently stalked my prey. Moving slowly, fluidly, so as to not attract attention to myself or reveal my motives. I could feel the tension building up through my shoulders and I flicked my fingers to keep them flexible for the technical maneuver I was about to execute. Just as I was about to make […]
Read MoreRemember Michael J. Fox as Teen Wolf? Remember how he started “wolfing out” and couldn’t control it? (That show terrified me, by the way. I was gonna put up a pic of old MJFox as the Teen Wolf but when I googled the pictures it still gave me the eejeebeejies.)
Read MoreI enjoy traveling with my family. I like seeing the boys get excited about staying in a hotel and watching cartoons on cable (which we don’t have at home) and I love having a shower that never runs out of hot water. But it’s no secret that I’m also unreasonably paranoid about staying in a […]
Read MoreCrazy girlfriends. There’s so much to say I’m not even sure where to start, except that the world would be a better place if Obama would’ve had one.
Read MoreSo normally when I need a new pair of socks or underoos I just mention it to the wifey and she takes care of that sort of thing for me. But recently we stopped at Target to get the boys some new clothes and I told myself, “Self, why don’t you just mosey on over to […]
Read MoreFor THIS, I’ll Eat My Vegetables. Researchers at the University of Missouri recently discovered that plants know when they’re being eaten. Yeah, you read that right. Read it again and just let it sink in.
Read MorePlaysWithFire wandered through the living room a few days ago carrying a half eaten pickle.
Read MoreI can’t explain it, but I don’t like Canada. I suppose that Canada is a nice enough place. The parts of it that I’ve seen have been pretty. The places that I’ve seen though have been those places very close to America, so that’s understandable.
Read MoreToday I helped KickTheBall build a bird house. Pretty simple, huh? I mean, I’ve built entire houses from rough sketches on a sheet of graph paper. People houses. That people lived in. And they were awesome. So I assumed that I could take my boy out to the garage and throw a bird house together. […]
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