The Toddler Coalition Against Parent Date Nights

The date night is an elusive creature for parents.  Imagine searching on the moon for a dolphin-unicorn hybrid.  That’s what it’s like, looking for a dolphicornalien.  Until you’ve gone through the process of planning a date night as a new parent you really can’t imagine just how complicated it can be.  

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Monday Funday–The Rearview Mirror Flip

Think back on your childhood….  Was there anything, ever, more absolutely-bone chillingly terrifying than when your father finally had enough of your back seat antics and flipped the rearview mirror at you?  

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Monday Funday–My Trip To The STD Clinic

  I unknowingly had to deal with a customer at work who had Tuberculosis, so my boss sent me to the local clinic to get checked out.  Unfortunately, the TB testing clinic was also the community STD clinic.

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Monday Funday….The High Price Of Potty Training

When you’re the parent of little kids, the day that they’re potty trained can seem like the best day of your life.  No more buying diapers, no more changing diapers, no more smelly diapers…..but as any parent of a big kid knows, all those good things come at a cost.

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Monday Funday–Inadvertent Murder

There are a few ideas that I’ve tried to ingrain in the boys from a very young age, one of which is that they should always stick together and take care of each other.  To that end, I created The Rescue Game.

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Urinal Etiquette

Don’t laugh.  This is an important subject that receives far, far too little attention in today’s society.  Prepare to be educated.

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Monday Funday–And that’s when my wife stopped breathing….

One Sunday evening when PlaysWithFire was about six we were headed to church services, and he nearly killed his mother.

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Munday Funday….Idioms for the boys

The boys were at the age when you think they’re old enough to understand every sarcastic or idiomatic thing you say, when they definitely don’t.

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Monday Funday….Kramer’s Cologne Can Be Concocted!

It’s finally possible because scientists have unlocked the secret of why the beach…smells like the beach.

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Fonix Phriday….Homophones

Homophones are my favorite.  And this is the simplest visual explanation for them that I’ve ever seen.

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Monday Funday…..The Placenta Heist of 2015

Can you even imagine the complexity involved in stealing a placenta from a hospital?  Well done, Texas Mom….well done.  This story gives me hope that one day I’ll be able to live out my dreams of being a secret agent as well.

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Monday Funday….The Hero Cat-Dog

First, it was a dude who thought he was a chick.  Then it was a white girl that pretended to be black.  So none of us should be surprised about a cat getting an award for being a heroic dog.

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The Deafening Defecator

You know that awkward stage when your kids are potty trained, but don’t exactly have the dexterity needed to…umm…you know…keep everything as tidy as it should be, “down there”?

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Bronie-Proof Your Boys

If you’re a good parent, at some point you’re gonna have to tell your kids to stop acting like an idiot.  

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Once Upon A Time…..

Once upon a time, there was a young man.  We’ll call him Eric.  And Eric LOVED to catch alligators.

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Perfecting The Critter Catch

I silently stalked my prey.  Moving slowly, fluidly, so as to not attract attention to myself or reveal my motives.  I could feel the tension building up through my shoulders and I flicked my fingers to keep them flexible for the technical maneuver I was about to execute.  Just as I was about to make […]

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Werewolf Eyes

Remember Michael J. Fox as Teen Wolf?  Remember how he started “wolfing out” and couldn’t control it?  (That show terrified me, by the way.  I was gonna put up a pic of old MJFox as the Teen Wolf but when I googled the pictures it still gave me the eejeebeejies.)

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I’mAGiver’s Guide To Hotel Survival

I enjoy traveling with my family.  I like seeing the boys get excited about staying in a hotel and watching cartoons on cable (which we don’t have at home) and I love having a shower that never runs out of hot water. But it’s no secret that I’m also unreasonably paranoid about staying in a […]

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Crazy Girlfriends (And why Obama should’ve had one)

Crazy girlfriends.  There’s so much to say I’m not even sure where to start, except that the world would be a better place if Obama would’ve had one.

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Eric’s Unmentionables Shopping Adventure

So normally when I need a new pair of socks or underoos I just mention it to the wifey and she takes care of that sort of thing for me. But recently we stopped at Target to get the boys some new clothes and I told myself, “Self, why don’t you just mosey on over to […]

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Plants KNOW When You Eat Them

For THIS, I’ll Eat My Vegetables. Researchers at the University of Missouri recently discovered that plants know when they’re being eaten.  Yeah, you read that right.  Read it again and just let it sink in.

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A Peculiar Pickle Proposal

https://youtu.be/rHjLyWRfK1U?t=4s

PlaysWithFire wandered through the living room a few days ago carrying a half eaten pickle.

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My irrational disdain for Canada

I can’t explain it, but I don’t like Canada.  I suppose that Canada is a nice enough place.  The parts of it that I’ve seen have been pretty.  The places that I’ve seen though have been those places very close to America, so that’s understandable.

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All Birds Are Democrats

Today I helped KickTheBall build a bird house.  Pretty simple, huh?  I mean, I’ve built entire houses from rough sketches on a sheet of graph paper.  People houses.  That people lived in.  And they were awesome.  So I assumed that I could take my boy out to the garage and throw a bird house together. […]

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